Brockley: Food of the Reality TV Gods

Our two greatest passions are Brockley and reality television. With The Apprentice due to return shortly, Wednesday nights will become a dead zone in terms of BC updates. BC Twitter, on the other hand, will go in to meltdown.

But what if this conflict could be resolved by somehow merging these two things - if someone could make a reality show starring SE4. Wouldn't that be the best thing ever? Yes, it would.

Well, according to the brilliant Fabhat, this perfect storm is heading our way soon. She writes:

Thought you might like to know that the 1.65 mill house on Wickham Road hasn't been bought (by Hugh), but is being used for a BBC reality TV show.

For the last few weeks streams of trendy student types have been in and out of there filming each others every move. We though it must just be some wealthy Goldsmiths student degree film, except for the legions of Toyota Prius taxis waiting outside for hours - too many even for a rich student's budget.

Anyway today we had a BBC researcher knock on the door and ask if we minded if one of these kids knocked on the door and offered to do some cleaning for us, as they're all on a budget and need to earn some cash. Sadly, we had to turn down the offer from "Seano" the domestic cleaner to come and help out.

Will keep you updated - what I really want to see is a Brockley Come Dine With Me - mung beans and fried chicken surely?

So it seems we can look forward to "Seano" joining the likes of Richard Newman, Lee Mead and that guy who bought a Brockley flat and moved to the east coast on Location, Location, Location in the Pantheon of Brockley's reality TV gods.

22 comments:

Tressillian James said...

I'm actually looking for a cleaner - but not for any TV coverage....

Anonymous said...

Auntie's license fee propping up the Broxon housing market?? Ooh err

patrick1971 said...

I would be more than happy to be filmed living in my own filth if it meant that I could get some students to come in and do my ironing.

Headhunter said...

On the other hand, I'm not actually looking for a cleaner but I'll hire one if it gets me on TV

Anonymous said...

Ratbag Says

So that explains the taxis and loud people I saw last night on my way back from the Brockley Knits.

Richard said...

They asked for permission to film in Jam Circus in case they decided to pop in for a drink - then they asked for permission to film in Jam Circus in case they decided to pop in for a job. I think reality is biting

Paddyom said...

I need a cleaner and an ironer - any students reading let me know if your interested :) PS - happy for my crib love to appear on any BBC4 reality show too

Tressillian James said...

@ Richard - we will know when we hit bottom when they ask permission to film in case the students pop in to drink the dregs.

Anonymous said...

Ratbag says

Is the conceit of this show 'lets put some students together in a house and then take their money away and see what happens?'

Richard said...

@Anon, sounds like it - they told me they're living off a small budget and it had been reduced last week. The idea apparently is to film the everyday lives of a group 18-24 year olds living independently of their parents. So, pizza & daytime TV surely?

They'd be bitterly disappointed by our dregs - couple of pints a night maybe. What would be more interesting is the waste bucket from abandoned drinks - cocktail of most liquids behind the bar

Tressillian James said...

Sell it to 'em as an Alcopop, Richard.

I have a horrible feeling that Brockley is not going to come out well from this..

Monkeyboy said...

Well I'll be disappointed if the Barge isn't featured.

fabhat said...

Screaming row and flailing limbs outside the Reality House...

Monkeyboy said...

Ooohhhh.... This is like our own local Heat magazine

Paul said...

They've filmed in the Brockley Jack a couple of times. They formed a pub quiz team last time I saw them in there. Despite every local helping them with the answers, they still came last...

psyche9 said...

Is this serious or an urban myth?

Anonymous said...

If the students had enterprise they'ed exploit the potential of the house as....

a) Brothel
b) Gambling den
c) Crack House

Bea said...

I wonder how long filming will go on for and when will it be broadcast?

Also, what it'll be called?

- "Broke in Brockley"

- "Hopeless, Jobless but not Homeless”; or

- “Brockley - The Real World”

Maybe they could do some volunteer work for BXAG planting up flower bed etc! But that would be unpaid ... so maybe no interest!

Fabhat said...

Think reality TV has left Brockley. Fleets of taxis being waved off last night and this morning piles of rubbish outside and cleaners inside. Now we just have to wait for it to be edited to create a storyline where there wasn't one, and appear on BBC3 at 4am in the morning...

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M said...

There is a series on BBC3 starting tomorrow at 9pm called 'Young Dumb and Living Off Mum' (reviewed by Charlie Brooker here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/jul/18/charlie-brooker-scree-burn) that sounds like it could be the Brockley-set reality show mentioned here.
Best tune in and find out I guess (although it doesn't sound too promising...)

Anonymous said...

Hugh will probably be on it - polishing his quick-release mechanism in his bedroom.

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