Love in Lewisham

This morning, in our day job, we helped to launch the LoveGeist for our client, Match.com. A study of more than 16,000 people in the UK, among its many fascinating insights is the fact that Londoners are simultaneously the least romantic people in the country and the most keen on long-term relationships.

BC is inclined to attribute these contradictory statistics to the fact that being single in London is fairly exhausting and dating invariably involves schlepping backwards and forwards across the city. If the price of happiness is endless early-morning journeys on the northern line, perhaps we're happy to settle.

Our newly-single friend in Ladywell recently decided to bounce back from her breakup with a night out in Lewisham - with predictably disastrous results. Brockley itself is a little short of pick-up joints, despite the fact that there appears to be a large number divorcees living in the area.

So the question is - where should the single person go in search of love in south east London?

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

i don't think it's distance - rather, it's the large amount of choice.

People say they are looking for a "ltr" but when it comes to it, if they are meeting new people most days/ nights of the week, it is harder to have the focus required to build something with one specific person....

The Cat Man said...

Agreed, It is extremely hard to build a relationship in London.

As for local joints, the Jam Circus seems a decent place?

Anonymous said...

Rivoli Ballroom in Lewisham? The Fox up by Ladywell station? And Yates, if you're into that sort of thing, on Lewisham High Street.

Anonymous said...

The dogging possibilities of Hilly Fields spring to mind.

well, my mind anyway...

(Yates closed down months ago didn't it?)

Anonymous said...

The Fox up by Ladywell station?

not sure I've noticed that one either

Brockley Nick said...

What about alternatives to pubs? Sports clubs? Social networks? Arts venues?

tyrwhitt ali said...

All I can say is any suggestions welcome!

I find sport events tend to be quite good. Watching the tennis outside at the Wharf this year was definitely more fun than normal.

Anonymous said...

Private View at the Ladywell Tavern this evening - singles welcome.

Hugh said...

Describe disaster.

Hugh said...

Don't know about you lot, but I find office life leaves me wanting to avoid people rather than see even more people out of hours.

Time is precious. Wear it like a ring.

Polly said...

How about a boat party organised by a Brockley resident? See www.funkyboat.com for all the details - there are a few tickets left, there will be a good mix of couples and singletons and all profits go to chaaaarideeeee!

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's the opposite for the people you work with Hugh

Tressilliana said...

There's one huge drawback to a function on a boat - you can't leave as soon as you get bored. Memories of an office Christmas do which was so bad it was funny.

Polly said...

You wouldn't get bored, Tressilliana! How very dare you!

Anonymous said...

Polly, are you trying to sell tickets?

papa smurf said...

match.com is pretty good, you can weed out the nutters (and there are plenty) with a thorough email interview process, occasionally bed a loose one and finally find the partner of your dreams.

Only then do you go for a drink and a chat and yes Jam Circus is a good place for that.

Polly said...

Anonymous: Well, there are a few tickets left so yes, that would be a bonus! (It's not me who is organising it though). But it was also relevant to the discussion about where to go to meet single people. If you're interested, details are on the website previously cited! I will say no more about it...

Anonymous said...

In this day and age there's no time for messing about, so join a dating agency. The online ones are quite good, Sarah Beeny's one is ok from all accounts. The 'stigma' that used to be attached to commercial match making has gone. Just get in there and get on it with it. Be pleasant, approach it in a spirit and fun and at the least you may not get a life partner you'll have a good time and plenty of stories to regale others with.

Anonymous said...

My best friend tried Guardian Soulmates. She said it's really good because you can be extremely specific if you want to be, so, for example, if you are genuinely hoping to find someone to settle down with you can state this, and only search for people who want the same. Equally, if you just want a bit of fun, you can find like-minded people who aren't going to be hassling you to meet their parents.

She was looking for the real thing. Her first date was a raging success and 6 months later she was engaged, to be married in November!

Anonymous said...

I love stories like that. I hope they have a wonderful life.

Headhunter said...

Yep I went the commercial route, I bought my partner in the Phillipines... (joking)

Headhunter's partner said...

Help me please!

I said...

I find the contacts on Gumtree, and its even less salubrious clone (if that were possible), Craigslist, get me all the high class action I can handle.

853blog said...

Is Sahara's on Lewisham High Street still going?

The Greenwich Phantom had some answers last week.

Ross said...

i am amazed at the amount of people who have positive online dating experiences i was looking at one the other day and it was basically an online database of everyone i'd ever want to avoid.

Anonymous said...

How rude you are, this perhaps indicates why you have not been able to find anyone to share your life with. Attitude issues.

4x4 said...

As far as singles websites are concerned, Adult friendfinder does was it says on the tin. For the more adventurous amongst you there is always their paramilitary wing-alt.com which caters for people into BDSM. Being able to hook up with someone from alt who wants you to beat seven bells out of them before sex saves a lot of money on Stella and your wife getting an injuction out on you-highly recommended.

Anonymous said...

Im not single but if I were, I would certainly use a site.


for girls (no idea re men): as long as you take normal precautions about where youa re going etc, and start by stating clear requirements - marriage sought, professional, non smoker, earning over x, that sort of thing if it's important to you.

Be more specific than in real life. Don't give anyone the benefit of the doubt - they are already putting their best foot forward on the site so don't give them any extra leeway!

don't make the mistake of having an overly sexy photo if you want a decent guy and marriage - your chance are higher with a nice photo, quite attractive, that shows you laughing happily.

or this is how it seems to me anyway.

maybe guys can comment on what their ideal possible wife would say in her profile and girls can do the same.

that might be useful for everyone?

Walking Advert for Internet Dating said...

My husband and I met on Love and Friends and it scares us regularly to think our paths would never have crossed irl so the whole thing could easily never have happened... we are super happy and have a baby now and everything. It's true, you can find everything you want on the internet :-D

I wasn't living around here at the time, but if I'd been meeting a date, I would have gone to Jam Circus. Best place around here by miles :-) Ooh, except maybe Mr Lawrence

mintness said...

I met my partner in a Eurovision Song Contest chatroom. I highly recommend it.

Headhunter said...

Mintness - "Partner"? "Eurovision Song Contest"?!! Is that your way of coming out to us?

The Cat Man said...

Actually funny you say that, the gay population of Brockley is disproportionately high compared to other areas.

It's the water.

Anonymous said...

The last time I was In saharas It was full of Polish people

mintness said...

Heavens, I wasn't aware I was *in* in the first place!

I suppose it stands to reason that a place that aspires to be a haven for young professionals/couples etc. will end up with a comparatively high gay population. At least among those of us who appreciate a decent bargain and aren't afraid of shopping in Lewisham. ;-)

Anonymous said...

There is, of course, one great drawback to finding someone in the local vicinity.

If it goes wrong it is quite likely that you will bump into your former squeeze in the street or at the handful of social venues in the area.

This can get decidedly uncomfortable.

Better to see someone who lives a discrete distance from your regular stomping ground.

Headhunter said...

Mintness - You can be anything on the internet, you can be "in", "out" (shake it all about). I'm actually a 16 year old girl and have just sat my GCSEs.

Anonymous said...

you didn't need to tell us HH, it's been perfectly obvious for some time.

;)

Anonymous said...

Has anyone tried Tuesday afternoons at Sainsbury's?

Headhunter said...

Why? Is it a bit like a night at Torture Garden?

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