East London Line vs London Bridge service

Paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that is scientific fact — there's no real evidence for it — but it is scientific fact.

The dysfunctional family life of Brockley Central has created a happy scientific accident to match the discovery of microwave ovens, Post-it notes or Viagra. We had the day off today so accompanied our wife from Brockley to help out at Homemade London. At Brockley Station, we were offered a choice of whether to catch a London Bridge train or wait for the East London Line train.

Our wife refused to be a minute later than she needed to be, we refused to pay the extra money for a train ticket on top of a tube ticket. Neither of us would budge. As a result, she got on a train to London Bridge, leaving six minutes before the East London Line train that we hopped on. Both journeys proceeded without delay and we ended up on the same Jubilee Line train, bumping in to each other at Bond Street, as we got off. We were so happy to have "won" that we forgave her her choice.

So, allowing for her ponderous walking pace, we can definitively state that the East London Line is the faster option if you want to get anywhere on a journey involving the Jubilee Line.