Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why I cannot say. Where I am going you cannot know. How I will get there... I haven't decided yet.
- The Simpsons, Bart the Lover
The first rule of Secret Cinema is that you do not talk about Secret Cinema and both the movie and its location are off the record, on the QT and very hush-hush. But we will say that it is excellent. It's the sort of experience that makes a part of London you'd barely pay any attention to feel like a strange and exotic landscape, that makes you feel like a more interesting person than you actually are and makes watching a film you've always meant to see feel like catching up with an old friend. There were so many hints and visual clues planted, from the moment we bought our tickets, that it was less like going to the movies than it was like being the subject of a Derren Brown experiment.
Suffice it to say, if you are the sort of person who is personally affronted by the thought of paying £10 for a cinema experience in Telegraph Hill you will probably have an aneurysm at the very idea of paying so much for seats that don't even have cup holders. Everyone else will love it.