Able was I, ere I saw Alby's

Never knowingly undersold. La Lanterna has been given a rebrand that's part Chuck E Cheese's, part US Agent. Henceforth, it is to be known as Alby's Place, which is Latin for 'Badger's Set'.

The re-brand reflects the fact that the new place will be more of a "wine bar" than a restaurant. To help you remember the name, they've written it on the front of their bar eight times.

Thanks to Monkeyboy for the photo. It's quite something.

199 comments:

Darylh said...

that is...um... very striking

mp said...

they couldn't choose a worst name...I don't mind the look...so screaming ugly that makes it charming somehow...

Anonymous said...

Lolzzzzzzzzz...

Malpas Simon said...

Oh dear God...

Running Nutter said...

Its certainly been done with an eye on the budget,

mp said...
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kolp said...

wow

Sally said...

It's very special isn't it? I was a bit surprised when I saw it walking home.

Ed (cpz) said...

I'm not prone to swearing but that is fucking shit.

Saarf London Bird said...

Sweet Jesus.

Anonymous said...

Is Wine Bar the new code name for something else?

It does not seem like it is targeting locals, I guess we will get commuters in the late hours of the day.

They can drink wine, and then go upstairs to sleep it off...

Pedant Rights said...

At least they got the apostrophe right.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, does anybody know whose place this is?

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

no names but may be friends of Gulens

I'm nice to Trolls said...

@ anon 18:25

Yes. It's Alby's Place.
It says so 8 times. Pay attention.

Anonymous said...

I like the 'A' above the doorway. Just in case you were in any doubt.

Anonymous said...

I hope the Council intends to enforce the conditions they made to the planning application:

1) No development shall commence on site until details of all facing materials (including their colour and texture) to be used on the building have been submitted to and approved in writing by the local planning authority. The development shall be carried out in accordance with the approved details, unless the local planning authority agrees in writing to any variation.

1) To ensure that the local planning authority may be satisfied as to the external appearance of the building and to comply with Policy URB 3 Urban Design in the adopted Unitary Development Plan (July 2004).


9) No music, amplified sound system or other form of loud noise shall be used or generated which is audible outside the premises or within adjoining buildings.

12) Provision shall be made for the storage and collection of refuse in accordance with details to be submitted to and approved in writing by the local planning authority prior to the start of development. The refuse storage arrangements shall be provided in full accordance with the approved details before the use commences and shall thereafter be retained permanently for the occupiers of the building.

SD said...

Frosted glass windows are one of the worst business decisions you could possibly make when opening any kind of bar/restaurant.

Reminds me of the bar that opened on the corner of Deptford High Street and Deptford Broadway, next to the Anchor couple of years back.

(Apologies if the windows don't actually have frosted glass; it looks that way from the photo though).

Brockley Michael said...

WHAT must a person's mind be like to need their name written so many times in such a small space, using such a screamingly hideous colour scheme?

Maybe it's targeted at the waifs and strays hanging about outside the bookies.

The Orchard and The Gantry can certainly rest easy...

Anonymous said...

Monkeyboy is becoming a valued contributor, he must be happy with the brownie points

Anonymous said...

@SD - Yes they are frosted windows, which are used generally to avoid people realizing what happens inside.

I am afraid this place will revive nightlife of Brockley high street in a way we have not experienced in a while.

The place does not even have an opening hours restriction, like the one the Council imposed to Gulens few years ago.

Sally said...

Expecting the council to monitor any written responses to planning conditions seems optimistic in the extreme given their attitude to these things.

Mb said...

I'm on a retainer from Edelman, haven't you heard?

Anonymous said...

B*gger. I had been really looking forward to this place reopening. A "wine bar"? Noooooooooooooo....,

Anonymous said...

Is it a 'private' shop?

Anonymous said...

What was the name? Sorry I didn't catch it.

Anonymous said...

Truly, truly hideous.....

Jemaine said...

They named it after the racist dragon?

Anonymous said...

"I'd like a glass of Viognier and a lap-dance please"

Anonymous said...

That is so funny! How out of sync with Brockley are they?! Ha ha!

fattyfattydumpdump said...

So who is Alby and what will he sell...wine is it? I reckon Mr Lawrence can sleep easy in his bed!

Unless its a Dalstonesque type pop up speakeasy (which would look like that as a joke) then it looks like a diabolical mess.

Would the owner care to explain?

Anonymous said...

At least it's opening as something, then can fail and reopen as something good!

Paddyom said...

O M GEEEEEEEEEE..............

Anonymous said...

This is utterly appalling and, as others have mentioned, looks as though it won't exactly be a respectable establishment.
I hope that our local councillors are aware of this and get onto the case with the council re: enforcing planning and other controls.
I also greatly hope that it's not connected to or aiming to rival the Gulens crew in any way. Safer Neighbourhoods team might also need to get involved.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to taste the wine and get a massage upstairs. Nick do you have phone number for reservations?

It reminds me of my youth as a truck driver roaming around Europe, I look forward to its opening night.

BrockleyKate said...

If this place really is going to be the kind of establishment suggested in the comments, I think that local residents surely should organise some kind of protest, no?

LC said...

Wow. Awful.

Matt-Z said...

Looks similar to this place in Farringdon:

http://statics.192.com/estreet/original/large/1200/12004023.jpg

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Wine bars are called wine bars cos they're full of people *whining*...god you lot should fit in perfectly...

Anonymous said...

Matt-Z, that looks nicer!

Tim said...

Umm, I think it's a bit early to assume this place is a criminal enterprise! Think everyone needs to calm down.

Anonymous said...

Well it wasn't worth all those years of wait, that's for sure! Looks more like a sex shop than a wine bar!

drakefell debaser said...

Well, Alby damned! Shame about the choice of colours and font but at least it's opened up as a business.

The Miska said...

Why are you all being such snobs? It's a new business and we surely should be supporting it as much as we can?! Would you rather boarded up shops than businesses with the 'wrong' pallette and typeface?

Matt-Z said...

Is this a good time to point out that Brockley Central is an anagram of Ball Cock Reentry?

Thought not.

Mezzer said...

The decor does bear some similarity to the old Alpha Club which used to be where Jam Circus now is.

qbf said...

I saw this today as I crossed the road (well I could hardly miss it, could I?) Hideous, tacky - can't wait to hear the reviews when it opens!!

Mb said...

People are making a judgement based on its appearance. It's what everyone does, it's a human trait. That's why shop fronts and marketing are so important. Frosted windows and the stark typeface do not make me think "nice bar for a drink on the way home". Call it snobbery, perhaps. It's a similar reaction to those getting in a lather over The Gantry or Browns. But yes, marginally better than a boarded up premises so long as its not a lap dancing joint, which it looks like.

Anonymous said...
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Foxberry Flo said...

It's hard to imagine how it could be worse. Absolutely shocking.

Anonymous said...

So we're not allowed to make inferences about what sort of establishment this 'hotel' is, exactly?

Anonymous said...

Tacky tacky tacky....

Anonymous said...

@FoxberryFlo It could have a zombie chef on the roof. That's how.

BrockleyKate said...

Oh yeah, the chef, I forgot about that eyesore. I wonder what kind of figure the new place could replace it with.
This particular building seems to be haunted by bad taste. Maybe we need to call in Kirsty Allsopp to do an exorcism and put some hand-made floral curtains up.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

...just blink feeling. My grandma used to say that first impressions are often correct.

bumbags said...

Oh come on- it's MILES better than the hideous plastic signs of City Noodles, the Nail Bar, Costcutter...
Yes, it's red. Yes, it's a bit 80's. But it may turn out to be a nice place to drink and it would be a dull world if every shop looked the same. Let's wish them well, go in and try it at least once when it opens, THEN decide.

Anonymous said...

Could it be an alternative bar rock/goth/emo. Colour scheme and seemingly American name? Would he a strange location, but so many people are jumping to conclusions. Let's wait and see.

Anonymous said...

@22:05 She never heard of not judging a book by its cover then?

Anonymous said...

I'm getting straight on to Lewisham Planning Department in the morning and I suggest you lot do the same. It looks horrendous. There is no excuse for this level of poor planning even outside the conservation area. Those poor people at Browns, The Gantry and Gently Elephant must be thinking WTF!?!?

Anonymous said...

I was rather fond of La Lanterna...but this sounds a bit down market...I hope not.

Anonymous said...

I've heard it's going to be a specialist academic book store.

Dave said...

The usual suspects complaining that a new business is not exactly tailoured for them. This area has more than just the pompous middle classes living in it you know!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Anonymous 22:55 ("I'm getting straight on to Lewisham Planning Department in the morning and I suggest you lot do the same. It looks horrendous. There is no excuse for this level of poor planning even outside the conservation area. ")

You're going to make an official complaint because it was designed to the owner's (questionable) taste rather than yours? Get a grip. It a bit rubbish, yes, but for the love of God...

Pete said...

My first thought on seeing this was that it reminded me of Chatterbox on Farringdon Road - a charming establishment...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 22:55 - It actually is in the conservation area.

Anonymous said...

excellent - what a great addition to the road - hats off to them for thinking outside the box, I'll be going there as often as possible

Alby said...

Bugger off you snobs!!!

JPM said...

At Dave and Alby. "This area has more than just the pompous middle classes living in it you know!"

It is not the middle classes alone who find this affront to our community lttle more than a hideous assault on it.

Unless you're suggesting that this reflects the tastes of working class people too - ? - there is nothing wrong with demanding a retail/leisure street and frontage that is both easy on the eyes and a pleasant welcome to the area.

The council will certainly get my call.

Anonymous said...

Typical Mungo responses to what amounts to a bloody sign on a wall again. Give me strength...

@HighStreetBen said...

Yeah its not to my design taste but Im def going in to have a drink and hopefully a bite to eat before I reserve judgement.. it is better than the empty shop (that blighted the whole street).. come on people, dont be so mean (yet)!

Anonymous said...

Very sympathetic to the street aesthetics - will go nicely next to Gently Elephant.

Anonymous said...
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BARFLY said...

"bugger off you snobs" well I guess all this shows is that people make a judgement on intuition rather than reason. presumably you have the same complaint about those who slam new bars that don't look like they were decorated using some leftover paint in the garage? It looks rubbish, on appearances without trying it so yes, it may be fantasti inside. What are the chances? Frosted windows don't say "come in, all welcome" or is that my inner snob? Sound obvious to me.

It's subjective, I won't be trying it because like most people I do judge a bar by its appearance. If all I wanted to do was drink, I'd stay at home and sit on the sofa in my underpants.

Also, no indication that it will be a strip club or a place where rooms are rented by the hour so that's a bit harsh. Mind you, if I was opening a knocking shop.....

Anonymous said...
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david said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
david said...

What was wrong with that post, Nick? Unless I made a typo I thought it was a fair and balanced statement?

Anonymous said...

Nick likes to remove comments that don't chime with his world view.

Brockley Nick said...

Anon, nothing to do with that. Although I think this is the ugliest thing I have ever seen, I am actually moderating to protect it from unreasonable comment. David, email me if you like, happy to explain.

Lou Baker said...

Good on Alby.

Let's hope it proves the naysayers wrong.

PS: you should have called it Lou's.

Anonymous said...

Alby is a honest chap selling honest fare.

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed at some comments- look at the WHOLE ROW of shops- it's not exactly a blot on the landscape.
Yes, Gently Elephant and Magi look nice, but that is IT!
I LIKE THIS- it's individual. I will also be phoning the Council to complain about people complaining...

Anonymous said...

At least something is open - then it can realise that Brockley has changed and won't choose it over the Gantry, or Orchard ... then it can be sold and be redeveloped into something much better!

Anonymous said...

That's hot ... loves it.

Anonymous said...

Gantry and Orchard aren't all that anon and Brockley really isn't that much cooler than 5 years ago..

Bea said...

I had a quick glimpse inside on my way home yesterday and all I can say is the whole set up is odd.

There is a small, blocked in and useless foyer just behind the windows (barely wide enough to squeeze a table in) and then the “wine bar” area proper - although could not see any evidence of a bar (perhaps it is further back). The only thing visible was a new wooden floor.

But why block visibility from the street with plasterboard if you’re trying to get customers in? I expect it is incredibly gloomy inside as there is no natural daylight. And yet, they are not shy about advertising their name from the outside!

Planning permission was for a hotel - and I believe people have been staying overnight on the premises for a while now although it is not officially “open”.

I wonder if the planning permission issues have been addressed?

From a post back in 2010 on Brockley Central TJ wrote,

“From the planning decision notice

http://acolnet.lewisham.gov.uk/ACOLLATEDOCS/60364_1.pdf

"You are further advised that separate permission is required for any new
illuminated signage, including fascia signs.”

I’ve had a search through Lewisham Council’s website and see no reapplication for 179 Brockley Road beyond the one made in 2009.

Application Number:DC/09/72597/X

Perhaps worth a call to Lewisham afterall if you feel it's important - Tel: 020 8314 7400

Anonymous said...

completely guessing - but reckon it will be advertised as accomodation probably with breakfast - the shop will be the dining room, will not be open to business just walking in - so hence the frosted glass. Hard to miss signage and use of bold red and black colouring will be advantageous for directions from the station - 'can't miss it - red and black - opposite the barge.


But hate this aspect of the BC - Big Brother

Brockley Nick said...

What aspect of BC?

Anonymous said...

"Perhaps worth a call to Lewisham afterall if you feel it's important" - that's a rather big "if". Hope local NIMBYs are able to restrain themselves this time round rather than causing more of their misery.

Mb said...

Most hotels allow outside diners in. The ones that don't don't mind people looking in, is eating in the gloom attractive to anyone?

Everyone is allowed an opinion on a shop on their high street, it's how communities work. It's unlikely to be closed down on the strength of aesthetics in any case.

People are free to comment on the other delis and bars, and have done. Their views are free to be countered. What's the problem?

As always, everyone is free to use it or not. It may survive, it may not. I suspect that many will be put off by the odd entrance arrangement. The sign looks rubbish (in my view) but does anyone seriously see the weird entrance lobby and frosted windows as anything other than off putting?

mario said...

this is exactly what was missing in Brockley. Because we're talking about a sex shop, right ?

Ben said...

Looks like BC bloggers are out to get this non mung establishment.

Gulens is just as weird and closed off.

LOL said...

A.L.B.Y you aint got no alibi!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMAA35gh9So

Anonymous said...

Yes, Gulens is also rubbish as has been mentioned before. Is it even open? At best it's a bad decision to make your new bar appear closed. Unless of course you don't want people looking in?

Brockley Kiwi said...

I spoke to the owner of Gulens (who is a delightful man who has been in Brockley 15+ years) whilst I was waiting for my tasty chicken shish ...

... the space next door to the kebab shop isn't run as a bas as such but just rented out for events and the like (birthdays etc).

Anonymous said...

The over analysis aspect.

Not going to get my nails done at the nail bar, or eat city noodles, but apparantly someone does.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 22 June 2012 05:39

Actually, it's not a question of taste, it's a question of planning law. Believe it or not the Town & Country Planning Act was introduced in 1947 (yes that's the post-war era to you) to instil some sort of pride in neighbourhoods and control any development that impacted negatively on an area. Albys place is just that. Negative and ugly development that contributes nothing to the look of the neighbourhood, in fact, it makes what is already a pretty ugly looking stretch of road look even worse (if that is possible). Maybe have a look at what has been done in Leyton ahead of the Olympics to make mediocre looking local services look presentable. It's not about class, it's about pride in the local area. http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/makeover-for-the-olympics-splits-east-end-high-street-7865589.html

Anonymous said...

http://compare.ebay.co.uk/like/280713135397?var=lv&ltyp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar&cbt=y

Brockley Nick said...

@Anon1338 - I agree to the extent that I dislike it when people moan on and on about something not quite suiting their tastes and preferences (eg: ale on tap, dogs allowed in places, prices too high, etc). That's not a BC thing, by the way, it's a human being thing.

In those cases, I think it is fair enough to mention that you might like some ale, but OTT to harp on about it like it's a moral issue.

However, this issue is not solely about personal tastes, it's about planning laws and the overall effect on the high street, as others have repeatedly pointed out.

Anonymous said...

Parts of the comments have been about planning but many others and the analysis - over the garden fence type of convo maybe on this link and others about newish or renewing businesses have been very personal and quite nitpickey.

Which is human nature but also is a negative aspect of the internet.

Anonymous said...

Do you think the owner of Gulen's may one day open it as a proper bar? Apparently it has a decent garden at the back.

Brockley Nick said...

We delete unpleasant personal comments about local residents and business owners. If you see any, please draw them to my attention and I will mod.

honest ale drinker said...

You can get an honest pint of ale in the Barge.

Mezzer said...

You do often get a very nice pint of ale in the barge. The best locally in fact. The last time I went a very nice one from Hog's Back Brewery was 1.99 a pint.

Anonymous said...

Very honest prices in the Barge. Putting local delis and organic micro-marts to shame.

Mezzer said...

A deli, mico-mart (whatever that is) and a pub have little or nothing in common though.

local yokel said...

I love the barge, pints and puddings, great value.

js said...

This DOES come down to taste, because the clause in planning about approving colours is purely based on taste. So who decides which colours are ok? Brocsoc? The council?
You are objecting because you personally find it garish. This is your taste. I think this frontage looks fine- it looks like a pizza place/bar with a hand-painted sign- red and black is quite usual in Italy for pizza places. The only thing I'd do differently is paint the top area surrounding the sign the same red as the lower part, and just leave the Albi's Place bit in black. But that's my taste.
Look at neighbouring shops- the City Noodles shopfront is FAR worse, as is the nailbar and several other shops. Their signs are hideous plastic things with strip lighting behind them.

Brockley Nick said...

@JS - the Council sets those standards yes. And it's not purely about whether on not you like those standards (although they're pretty good) - it's about whether standards are enforced.

If we don't enforce them, good business owners work for weeks and months to get the right approvals and consult with neighbours and the wider community to create something that maximises benefits and minimises nuisance while cowboys take the piss, which is an unfair advantage and detrimental to other businesses in the area.

A business that looks rubbish or attracts anti-social behavour can harm all the businesses near it.

Yes, there are lots of breaches of those standards on this strip and it would be good to see more action taken to help / make businesses adhere to them. But when a new establishment opens up, it is the perfect opportunity to ensure that they get it right.

Anonymous said...

Don't most signs have strip lighting behind them? Fairly common occurrence on the British high st I thought

Anonymous said...

Well it would make sense to delete a comment about a member of staff at a local business, as those comments could affect the livelihood of any subsequent staff member. Surely it would be sensible to contact the owner to complain. If the owner is the person responsible then you have to make other choices.

JB said...

Tack tack tacky. Oh dear. What a crying shame. The elephant shoe shop looks so classy, then Alby's lowers the tone of the street once again. What a disappointment.

Ben said...

Still looks better than most of that strip.

Does anyone know how much a shop on that row costs to rent?

Anonymous said...

The more I look at this shop front the more I like it.

What have elephants got to do with shoes?

Reg said...

Has anyone tried reasoning with Alby's doctor?

Anonymous said...

@Ben - For the new Lanterna the request was ~£70k a year 12 months ago.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mb said...

Just walked past and had a good look. Yep, frosted windows and shoddy painting and signage. It just looks rubbish even if it turns out to be an inoffensive bar.

I can say that with with out a guilt trip as I'm posting this from Gulens where im waiting for a delicious kebab.

Anonymous said...

Talk about a storm on a teacup. All those who think it looks like a brothel, I think it says more about you than the shop front.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it looks pretty grotty but it is in keeping with the other shops in the row. Surely it is good there is something in addition to gantry, orchard and barge to cater for different tastes.

Anonymous said...

It looks worse in real life than in the photograph above and, yes, it really does look like a brothel.

Anonymous said...

People here talk like Gulwns doesn't exist for the same old dog whistly reasons. It's open every night.

Abra Kebabra said...

I've never seen it open, I've never seen anyone go in. It's not open in the early evenings. That's why, nothing to do with dog whistles. It's not an inviting place. Now stop being silly.

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of snobs!!!! And if that's what you think a brothel looks like then well...says it all really

Brockley Nick said...

Is that so, Anon2049. Well why don't you head down there tonight? What's that? It's completely closed, with the shutters down? On a Friday night? Oh,

Please stop accusing people of racism, it a) makes you sound foolish b) devalues the term c) is incredibly insulting to people who are making sensible, informed points. Plus, someone did mention Gulen's - said nice things about it.

It's primarily a private hire venue. And it's called Gulen's. Get your facts right, you racist.

Anonymous said...

This is someone's genuine attempt and starting a business and they may have spent their entire savings on it. Maybe they are relying on it to feed their children. If you all feel this way just let it fail with some dignity.
Nick

Barfly said...

Well thats a common thread to any new bussiness. It can be all those things and still look awful and affect its neighbourhood. The points you make, even if true, do not alter the fact that it looks terrible. For those above who don't mind it or even claim to like it. Would you really choose to drink in a bar where you can't see in or out? Friendly advice to the owner who apparently has six kids and a sick grandmother in the spare room. Sort the windows out at least. Bussiness failures are not on the basis of how nice or deserving the owner is. It's on the basis of how much money he can attract.

Barstory said...

It's not a plucky start-up, it's owned by a group that's owned places for decades and ran this place in to the ground in the first place.

Anonymous said...

When will the review thread appear I wonder?

Anonymous said...

I drove past it and assumed it was another 'chip shop' and they'd accidentally missed out the 'i' in 'place'....?!

Anonymous said...

For what fare is their fayre fair?

Anonymous said...

I don't understand the issue about the frosted windows. It wasn't very long ago that all pubs had engraved windows which prevented passers by from looking in, and customers from looking out. And they were often beautiful. Sadly nearly all pubs have ripped them out and replaced them with clear glass, destroying the original design of the buildings. Why the sinister conclusions from Alby's frosted glass? Quite a few houses in Brockley have frosted glass in their living room windows. Are we to suppose they are brothels or lap-dancing clubs?

Tamsin said...

Agree about pub frosted windows when they are part of the original design - the poor old Rose of Lee looks terrible with the great plates of ultra smooth glass it has now. And one doesn't necessarily want to be dining in a gold-fish bowl in full view of the main road just outside - at least the Orchard is round a corner and the Gantry set a little way back. Frosted glass is preferable to greasy net curtains.

Mark you, has to be put in properly. The new swimming baths in Gloucester in the 1960s were a typical shoe-box design with a totally glazed frontage facing a main road. The concept was for frosted glass on the lower panels and clear in the upper ones for a degree privacy. But they were put in clear at the bottom and frosted at the top and where the chunky glazing bar was positioned at waist height it looked as if the male bathers at least were lounging up and down the pool-side starkers!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 22 June 2012 13:40

Again, it's subjective. It's black and red and, yes, totally naff - but are you honestly trying to tell me this is contravening some sort of planning law by being (to many people) ugly? Nonsense. Is it any worse than City Noodles next door?

Anonymous said...

Someone is seriously editorialising the comments again. A post suggesting we should judge the quality of their output over their sign was deleted. In what way is this in line with a fair comment policy?

Brockley Nick said...

The point was fine, the post contained an offensive comment, which is why it was deleted. You've just made the same point, without being offensive. Congrats.

As ever, email me if you have any quesrions.

Mb said...

Why shouldn't you judge a place from its appearance as well as its output? Take away it's output and ambience and you just have a place that serves drinks in which case all bars are equal. Appearance matters to the people who live nearby even if they never use it. No, unless it contravenes some planning reg it can't be made to change but it's a perfectly legitimate thing to comment on. And to the poster who said why the problem with frosting? Yes, pubs used to do it. They don't now, most people prefer to look out (and in) and you can't seriously compare ornate etched glass to this. The comparison to someone's house is totally spurious.

Anonymous said...

@13:40 - actually it is not in line with the design provided in the planning application, the conditions imposed to the same application and the conservation area.

Ian on the Hill said...

Having looked at it last night, I have to agree that it's incredibly shoddy.

Although I don't have an entrepreneurial bone in my body I do have to wonder just how bad at business you would need to be to pay lots of money to rip out a perfectly good and very pleasant frontage and interior in order to put in a monstrosity like that?

Oh yes, it would be the same lot who didn't realise it was their shoddy quality and over-inflated prices that killed their first business.

BTW, passed the Gantry last night and it was full to overflowing.

Anonymous said...

Just think what the owners of La Querce could have done with the Lanterna site as it was.

HeckMcBuff said...

Had La Querce taken it over? Then the heavens would have opened, angels appear and the sound of trumpets would have filled the air.

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with you lot. Alby’s is perfectly in line with the Caouncil’s grand master plan for Brockley, the Amsterdam of the south east.
They are building beautiful council houses on both sides of the station, they have provided us with efficient betting facilities to spend our allowances and cheap booze at the pub. We will soon get brand new hostels for our friends to come and stay, and in case one overdoes a little, they are putting a drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre right in Brockley cross. What was missing was just a place where to relax after a long day, and watch a bit of lap dance while finishing the bottle of cider. Alby has filled the gap in the market and you guys can’t do much about it.
The mung eaters who think that the future of Brockley is the Gantrys, the Orchards or the Elephants have completely lost the plot. Brockley is being true to its heritage and is following the Grand Plan designed for its future.

Anonymous said...

at £70k a year Le Querce would have passed ...

Fidgad said...

I hope it is a brothel - I always enjoy an nice bowl of broth, beef or scottish i'm not choosy.

Anonymous said...

A Bordellicatessen?

Barfly said...

Anon @10:55 they're not "council houses" (oh the horror!) even if they were what off it? Houses for people to live in. Rehabilitation centres to help people get off drugs and heavy drinking, good. Neither have anything to do with an ill judged shop front and even if it did the council does not arbitrate on whether its a rubbish bar a good bar. It can enforce design regs.

Your post is just a silly bit of resentful sniping, iBooks like you spent a whole typing it. You should have spent the time rubbing E45 creame into your mums feet.

Anonymous said...

"You should have spent your time rubbing E45 into your mum's feet".

Congratulations. This is the first genuinely funny snipe I have read here in sometime.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

This noteworthy addition needs a review.

A Brockley Central reporter should venture forth and investigate. Maybe reveal the range services on offer, then 'make and excuse and leave' if they offend the sensitivities of gentlefolk.

Sigh! How I miss the News of the World on Sundays!

Anonymous said...

Is it a sex shop?

Headhunter said...

My first thought was that it doesn't actually look that bad... They seem to have abandoned the mock palladian frontice they were going for wen it 1st shut down... Anyway, I'll nip round sometime to see it in person...

Anonymous said...

The door was propped open last Friday night and I stuck my head in (before swiftly being thrown out!). May have been post-barge beer goggles....but what I saw of the inside looked ok, but agreed, the outside looks like an adult movie store.

Anonymous said...

Any update on this place?

Anonymous said...

Here is the application for the hotel that was granted in 2009!

http://acolnet.lewisham.gov.uk/LEWIS-XSLPagesDC/acolnetcgi.exe?ACTION=UNWRAP&RIPNAME=Root.PgeResultDetail&TheSystemkey=57952

If we want to complain we need to find something that they promised that they have not done...which is tricky!

Anonymous said...

I am sure we are all keeping an open mind on the subject more is known.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone been inside yet, is it open??

Anonymous said...

There is now a menu in the window.

I think Albys is an Italian restaurant.

Hopefully the pizzas will be more tasteful than the outside decor.

A decent Italian can't fail around here.

realist said...

yeah, it looks like they took a menu from another restaurant and stuck it in their window with sellotape.

Jane said...
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Anonymous said...

Free advice, if the owners are reading this. Your fine dining establishment looks like a low rent lap dancing joint.

Anonymous said...

Have you been into Alby' place and actually eaten a meal ? Seriously ? You have sat in that windowless room with the security at the door and had a normal restaurant meal ? Perhaps you could tell us what it was like ?

Anonymous said...

'your restaurant looks like a low rent lap dancing joint'

Owner: result !

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Ian on the Hill said...
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Anonymous said...

My post saying that I'd been in for Steak and Chips was deleted but the one criticising me wasn't.

The comments are being editorialised.

nk said...

Well it appears that Alby has endeavoured to clear up the confusion about his line of business by adding the word RESTAURANT to the windows 7 times as well.

That together with the badly printed fuzzy menu stuck in the window makes me want to rush round with the whole family, especially at £13 for a bowl of pasta with no natural light.

Brockley Nick said...

@Anon - do you realise how ridiculous it sounds for you to say that you are somehow being singled out for moderation? You are one of a million anonymeese.

Anonymous said...

I think the implication is that slanderous posts seem to be promoted and ones offering a more rational view are removed.

Brockley Nick said...

And with respect, that is complete nonsense. This thread is unfortunatley littered with comments which have had to be deleted. That is not because I like to delete the rational views.

kolp said...

Hi Nick!

kolp said...

Could you please delete post!

Anonymous said...
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Brockley Nick said...

As ever, any questions about mod policy, please email me.

Mb said...

Kolp, what are you blabbering on about?

all in the name? said...

Franco Manca isn't a great name but they make great pizza. Let's see what it becomes first.

Anonymous said...

What's goin on ere then?

Anonymous said...

With the signs removed it seems like whatever it was, it is now closed again.

Tressilliana said...

Five weeks since Nick's original post. Is this a record for the shortest-lived business in Brockley?

Anonymous said...

And not one snotty blogger decided to walk in. Disgraceful.

..?. said...

No one did, ever. Kind of invevitable if the door is resolutely shut, the windows masked and the only indication of what they have to offer is a menu offering bowls of pasta at £14.

IF it's shut it's due to their utter cluelessness (assuming it was a restaurant, they never gave any indication, was a bar as well?)

fabhat said...

Perhaps someone should ask the marketing manager for Biagio (listed here) what's happening... although it's not listed on their website anymore.

https://www.facebook.com/biagiorestaurantgroup/info

Anonymous said...

Any chance the commitment to keeping it a restaurant was a quick ploy to assume ownership, go under, and then continue using the location for other means?

This is, of course, conjecture. I'm not at all well versed in the world of small businesses.

Anonymous said...

I think they decided the branding was too subtle and are awaiting the arrival of 8 bigger logos.

I wait with baited breath to see what they come up with.

Anonymous said...

I hope you all know that ''Alby's Place'' is one of Biagio's creations! I saw him there a few weeks ago shouting commands at his crew workers, they were unloading that massive shabby red van of his.

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Anonymous said...

Biagio Caroleo is indeed listed as the applicant on the planning permission form in the window

Isaac G said...

Its a shame that Ali, the guy that owns Gulens doesn't take this place over? He seem's very successful?

BD said...

Serious! guys it could be worst! see

http://www.jokeroo.com/pictures/funny/herpes-pizza-2.html

Hope the mod will see the funny side & not delete it??? Maybe they could start a thread so we could share some funny shop pictures???

(please, pretty please)??? LOL

Anonymous said...

Does this comment on Biagio Caroleo seem plausable - I'd say yes!

http://leagueofgentlemen.wikia.com/wiki/Pop

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