Panther on the loose in New Cross

The Sun reports that a wild panther has been spotted in New Cross, adding that the sighting comes "eight years after a man was mauled by a 6ft-long panther-like cat in nearby Sydenham."

A source told The Sun: “She was terrified. She described it as a huge, black wild cat with large fangs and a long tail. “The woman was very respectable, not drunk or imagining things, so the call was taken seriously.” 

The panther, recognisable by its formidable scent, will represent a threat to any London Gentlemen who cross its path - 60% of the time, it will attack you every time.

If you see the panther, you are advised not to try to have sex with it.

Via Transpontine on the New Cross forum.

4 comments:

Ian Richardson said...

when it comes to big cats one should only have sex with a cougar.

NAT said...

Bet it's just a lynx, maybe a hypertext lynx (felix hyperlocalis)

Osbourne said...

Yes, I can confirm I also have seen a massive Pussy on the tracks near Brockley train station, chasing giant railway rats.

AliAliAfro said...

Well that escalated quickly...

Brockley Central Label Cloud

Click one of the labels below to see all posts on that subject. The bigger the label, the more posts there are!