Deptford campaigner launches bid to throw off Lewisham anchor

Hugh: You know, I've attempted to enjoy your family on a personal level, on an ironic level, as a novelty, as camp, as kitsch, as cautionary example...nothing works.
- The Simpsons

A month early, dilettante campaigner, broadcaster and author Ray Woolford has announced that, after the triumph of his Estate Agent Cafe and Deptford Heritage Festival, his next trick will be to rope off Deptford as an independent Parish Council and create his own kingdom. His blog reveals:

"Delighted to be leading the campaign to re-launch Deptford Parish Council after 50 years that will restore Deptford’s Heritage. Identity, and sense of community whilst restoring legal powers on planning, licensing. By-Laws and we trust built greater community cohesion , as Deptford will be the first South London area to bring back its Parish Council and first London Parish Council to be restored.

"The Queens Park Council will be a brand new Parish, we are seeking to restore what we had in 1965 at the time, the most popular Parish Council in London which  the media early news reports confirm. With local residents constantly feeling imposed upon and what seems to be no accountably or real community advantage on Planning. Development and Licensing, a Parish Council will allow residents a real voice with powers to change and to help maintain Deptford’s Pride. Identity and restore its heritage and importance in global history."

This is a map of his realm:

To decide the boundaries, he ordered nine turtles to swim to his stone
And, using these turtles, he built a new throne.
He made each turtle stand on another one's back
And he piled them all up in a nine-turtle stack.
And then Woolford climbed up.  He sat down on the pile.
What a wonderful view! He could see 'most a mile!

As a writer, Woolford makes Harry Knowles look like Percy Shelley. As a performance artist, he is unsurpassed. Thanks to Clare for the hat tip.