Come Dine With Me: Le Diner de Cons-ervation Area

Come Dine with Me - already perfect television - is about to help us achieve nirvana. The producers are currently scouting for talent in the Greater Brockley area. They say:

Anyone who might be keen on applying for the show can call 0871 244 4142 or email Shoot dates are 5th November – 9th November 2012.

Sadly, the producers won't commit to doing a Brockley-only version of the show (insisting that other nearby places might have to get a look-in), but they are missing a trick. This could be the piece of television that defines Brockley in the popular imagination, eclipsing the area's first appearance on Location, Location, Location or that documentary about rich and poor families living side-by-side in Brockley, that people who've been here a long time always drag up.

This is a chance to sit every Brockley stereotype (well, five stereotypes at least) side-by-side around a dinner table so we can at last define terms - our spectres will finally be given a face.