Brockley's Day of Reckoning

Oh, my wife says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore.
- Kurt Vonnegut

The Guardian is about to turn Brockley its merciless, reductive eye on our home. As spotted by reader M, "Let's Move To" columnist Tom Dyckhoff is asking Guardian readers to send him their views on the area, for next week's Saturday magazine. Dyckhoff is to house prices what the man from Del Monte is to the organge juice futures market, his verdicts pored over by right thinking liberals like us.

We're pleased to see that the paper has acknowledged the wisdom of the "greater Brockley" worldview, lumping together Brockley, Ladywell, Honor Oak and Nunhead, but then they also bundled Westcombe Park with Shooters Hill, which suggests perhaps Dyckhoff's grasp of South East London is not what it could be.

The column tends to revolve around transport links, schools and shops - all things this blog is concerned with of course, but we'd also like to offer a quick word for a few things about Brockley that are unlikely to make the cut:

1. The arcade game hidden away at the back of Brown's of Brockley because the owner's mate had nowhere else to put it

2. The flat bit at the bottom of Hilly Fields, which people cram on to during almost every daylight hour to play sport

3. The 9 volunteers from the Brockley Cross Action Group who decided to do something themselves about the weeds growing on Brockley Common one rainy weekend, so that it can be properly planted in the new year, despite it being abandoned by the contractors

4. The imposing view of the Brockley Jack when you travel north in to Crofton Park

5. The manager of Geddes, whose response, when we asked if they were planning any special offers for Christmas, invented this one for BC readers

6. The fact barely a weekend has gone by since we started this blog, without some kind of community event taking place

Please send the Guardian your recommendations here.