We go to Malmo for two days and Armageddon is visited upon London...

From our gloomy hotel room, with only CNN for company, we learned that 'the great London earthquake of 2008' had struck, unleashing hell on an unsuspecting population. Their round-the-clock coverage of this apocalypse was accompanied by footage of a man sweeping up some roof tiles in Lincolnshire.

As we raced back to Heathrow, wondering whether anything was salvageable of SE4, we were able to read the increasingly angry exchanges taking place on Brockley Central. Symbols of authority like Lewisham Council, the World Trade Organisation and even the Police were under attack. Corporate Lawyers were using gratuitous swear words. Clearly, society was breaking down in some sort of Lord of the Flies scenario.

So it came as some relief to get off the train and find people casually perusing the Broca and Dandelion Blue, rather than looting.

But for a moment, we were able to fantasise about which bit of Brockley we'd most like to be levelled by an earthquake (without casualties, obviously). Our vote goes to the MOT garage at the junction of Brockley Road and Coulgate Street. There were a few other strong candidates...

Anyway, it's good to be back. Malmo is added to the list of places that are not as good as Brockley.