Brockley, Brockley, Brockley

Television. You know its power, you crave its validation. Oh sure, the numbers might argue that no-one under the age of 25 watches live TV any more, you might protest that you are too busy watching SWAT teams raid gamers' houses on Twitch or sending Vines of your Whatsapp account to your Twitter followers, but somehow, everyone saw the Lottery advert set in Brockley and here we all are now, waiting for Phil and Kirsty's verdict.

Because they are back in Brockley for the third time in as many years, because it's the only affordable and desirable part of the city left. Location, Location, Location were filming in Rokeby Road and the Brockley Mess a while back and the Brockley episode is on right now.

However absurd the presenters are, however obscene you find the property market, you know you want to know what they say.

So let's see. What will they say? We're live blogging the show again.

8.04 - OK, so Kirsty's showing a model and a man with nice legs around Brockley. Typical Brockley residents. They will fit in just fine.

8.06 - She loves the London night life, so Brockley is the natural place to start.

8.09 - Our old foes Catford and Forest Hill are competing for their attention. The eternal struggle!

8.11 - Bloody hell, Blackheath is expensive.

8.14 - "Brockley's a hotbed for young creatives," she says gesturing at a camper van, because nothing's more creative than a camper van. Just needed a couple of bros playing hacky sack to complete the picture.

8.16 - A basement flat in Rokeby Road for £379k. Nice garden.

8.17 - The couple that wanted Blackheath are coming down to earth with a bump. Kidbrooke Village. Phil keeps pretending that is in some way handy for Canary Wharf.

8.30 - So far, it looks like a repeat of the 2013 episode, when a young idealistic couple came, had a poke around near the Wickham Arms and realised that they could get more for their money a bit further down the line.

8.33 - Phil is now trying to tell the man who wants an easy journey to Canary Wharf that Woolwich is a good idea, because you can get a bus to Lewisham in 17 minutes (is that really possible at rush hour?). What about the flipping train to Greenwich?

8.35 - Now the Blackheath couple are heading out to Beckenham in search of somewhere to live. This is an object lesson in property market inflation.

8.40 - Man who was looking at Blackheath secretly waiting for a property price crash. Not going to happen people.

8.42 - The model woman who wanted to move to Brockley has "a bit of a fit" about being shown Catford but is talked down from the ledge to look around.

8.43 - Catford has made her cry. Nobody show her the plastic cat...

8.48 - This episode really shows that the London property market makes lunatics of us all.

8.50 - Sevenoaks is not the cheap alternative to London.

8.51 - When has the Brockley Mess ever been that empty? We've never been able to get one of those bloody green booths. The magic of television.

8.54 - Brockley Mess looks like it's been painted by Edward Hopper.

8.55 - Brockley residents wouldn't cry on TV about being shown a Catford property. No wonder they plumped for Forest Hill.

8.59 - If the camera adds ten pounds then Brockley had approximately 10,000 more cameras pointing at it compared with the last time Location visited.