Coming soon: Something
Listen: We are here to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.
- Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake
There has been a lot of good news in Brockley recently. Browns of Brockley is mere days away, Brockley Mess is nearly ready to open and work to refurbish the Talbot is well underway. Who knows, we may even get a handrailing at Brockley Station before the new East London Line trains arrive?
The good news has been coming so thick and fast that we had been planning to write a new wishlist for Brockley. But before we sat down to write it, it was already out of date. For while we were dreaming up nice things in Brockley, someone else was actually putting a business plan together.
We can't tell you quite yet what Brockley is about to get, but feel free to have a guess what has made us so excited.
176 comments:
A needle exchange?
Think harder.
A cinema?
A petting zoo?
A branch of M&S?
A petting zoo would be nice, actually. Not a petting zoo. :(
So that's a cinema or M&S? Or both perhaps? A cinema IN M&S? 'These aren't just films ... they're M&S films ...'
it's gotta be a sainsburys supermarket or even a waitrose ...
Grocer? Butcher?
A pub!!! A new brand spanking glossy gastro pub, right at Brockley Station perhaps.
Or a gym - I mean, I really need a local gym now that I am turning 31....
Or perhaps a bookies is going to close! But that could be too much to wish for! :o)
Is it a mirror shop, so that Hugh and Headhunter can admire their legs/buns (and each other's)?
Hmm, how about a convienient 'boundry chage' so that we become part of Southark Council, with their nice victorian lamposts as standard street fare!!
*sigh* - I'm obviously getting far too excited now.
A restaurant? Is Heston Blumenthal opening the Fat Duck 2 where Aquarium used to be?
A pub!!! A new brand spanking glossy gastro pub, right at Brockley Station perhaps.
You've already got that its called the Barge. Its well exotic with a curry nite(sic) and everything.
My guesses:
Secure offenders unit.
Mental health care in the community unit.
Prison
or possibly a Nursery........
Please, a KFC!
a book shop?
a plant nursey for all the large lovely gardens of Brockley?
I'd also get pretty excited to have a local Japanese restuarant. Catford and Greenwich can be long walks from where I live.
Ooh yeah, garden centre or bookshop please!
Please not another gallery or deli......
Combined Butcher Game dealer & Fishmonger would do me nicely.
A DVD/Coffee shop and a yoga studio!
Speaking of Game, has anyone tried that lovely game pie they serve at the TM2? Its amazing.
They even warn you about the possibility of finding shotgun pellets.
I learned long ago not to trust anyone else's recommendations on places to eat.
Perhaps one of the chicken shops could go over to deep fried organic grouse!
Free range organic Doner Kebabs sound good too!
Cant imagine you are getting this excited about a starbucks...
Is it a circus school?
...Or a monkey santuary?
...Or a paperclip warehouse?
...Or a Royal Palace?
...Or a magnet factory?
...Or a branch or Robert Dyas?
A no parking zone in Brockley Cross
Is it a branch of Evans bike shop? (Rhetorical.)
Nick, can you tell us where this new business will be placed? Maybe not exact details, but general area of Brockley?
Paul
This is driving me crazy now, I just need to know what this is!
'My guesses: Mental health care in the community unit.'
Ignorance towards supported housing or 'Mental health care in the community units' as you put it really frustrates me.
There is one supported housing unit I know of already in Brockley and there is likely to be several more in the area.
Please don't engage in stereotyping those with mental health issues in a negative way, because it's not going to help the stigma they are already having to deal with on a daily basis.
Give us a further clue?
A butcher/fishmonger would be top of my list, definitely. Oh, please let it be that!
Lapdancing joint?
...a deep clean?
...an airport?
...a campus of Oxford University?
...a halting site?
...a music festival headlined by Oasis?
...whole food store first Saff London store?
...maybe Nick is having us on and its actually...nothing!
I just hope its something involving alcohol and possibly music.
A fishmongers would be ace. That please!
a statue of Brockley Nick?
A sushi bar? Champagne & oysters?
Or maybe just a Pizza Express...?
Ooh. Robert Dyas. Now that's a handy shop.
How about a statue of Brockley Nick INSIDE a fishmongers which ALSO sells glasses of champagne?
Brockley Nick, we're all really getting our hopes up now so you'd better not be pulling our legs. Don't ruin our day by telling us it's actually another Tesco Express or a kebab shop.
A nice medium size secondary school opening in 2014 in Brockley
A small library
An adventure playground
A branch of the co op and co op to bring back stamps
One way system in Geoffrey Road
Set barbecue weekends in November /December only- totoal ban all other times
Hard rubbish collections by council every two months
Hmmm... I hope I haven't over-egged this!
can't you give us a clue please Nick?
Is it a black man's cock?
Hugh
By a black man's cock do you mean a Jerk Chicken shop?
FOR GODS SAKE NICK TELL US SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!
Lewisham Council is going to copy Rochdale Council and put the Christmas lights up now:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8214040.stm
The human head weighs eight pounds.
Nick you are starting to sound nervous... is it just an ATM or something?
Yours probably weighs double that right now. Stop playing around and tell us something about this that has some meaning. Where will this 'Something' be in brockley. Near the station, near crofton park?
Nick, can you at least tell us whether anyone has guessed correctly yet? Then we won't be quite as disappointed as we'll already know that it's not a fishmonger.
I promise I will tell you everything as soon as I can.
We already have a butcher/fishmonger in Brockley: Peter James on Ewhurst Road.
Nick - fine. but right now you can tell us something that would add value to the article. You must know where this thing is going to be - approximately at least.
Anyway....
... nice weather today!
Are you bound by some kind of confidentiality agreement?
A hotel & casino
@Anon - no, only the honour code of the blogger!
I think you're all adding plenty of value to the article with your guesses already. See the Vonnegut quote at the top!
In that case either a joke shop selling Whoppee cushions or a sewage works.
a waitrose, a pizza express, some hanging baskets and bunting in the streets
A wind farm?
Erm, that's one way to interpret the text, sure...
A public loo?
(dont get too excited Catman)
There's an idea! "The Brockley Cottage" has a nice ring to it, so to speak.
Acorn Estate Agents took over what was the public loo in Crofton Park.
A fishmonger would be lovely. I don't remember that there's ever been one in Brockley. There have been garden centres in various parts of SE4 - all gone now as people didn't use them much once they could drive out to Ruxley Manor, Homebase or Phoebe's.
Whatever it is it now can't possibly live up to the level of expectation.
A fishmunger?
An Art Centre?
Right Nick, you are going to have to quell the flames a bit here - can you at least tell us what sector of business this mysterious 'plan' is in? Food, booze, entertainment, lavatory provision etc...?
Ok ok ok, so when do you think you will be able to tell us?
one week? one month?
"putting together a business plan" makes it sound as though it is an independent.
Well, he did say business plan so that implies private sector - I assume a 'new' business for an empty premise.
Has anyone checked out the council planning site? If a change of use is involved, it will need to be registered :o)
At Christmas, do you guys all insist on peeling back the wrapping paper from the presents under the tree, some time around December 23rd?
@Michael - yes, you are right.
Watersportspark?
coulgate st weekly farmers market?
Organic food shop?
A local restaurant that has failed to realise its full potential is to re-invent itself?
or
A pimp my ride shop with "DIY or DIE" made 12v pedal powered sound systems for sale?
or
A gym / boxing hall?
Christmas market with our twinned German town
Toads Mouth wine bar.
Is Gulen's WIne Bar actually going to open occasionally?
Can you at least say where you think it will be? This info alone will be enough for most of us to know whether we still care. I.e. if it's in Ladywell I couldn't give a stuff.
Gulen Kebab bar and bistro
"We already have a butcher/fishmonger in Brockley: Peter James on Ewhurst Road."
Just about sums things up if you ask me! Whenever people cry "Ooh. We simply must have an artisan/independent (insert type of business) here", there's invariably one fitting that description already. Trouble is, it's so bloody artisan i.e., it's not actually a recognisable chain that you'd encounter in a more salubrious area, is tucked away down a side street, or is has such a humble shopfront, that it goes unnoticed.
Alright, so we don't have a petting zoo*, a paperclip warehouse as far as I know, or an airport (although there's four international ones within 25miles), but you get my drift. Hopefully
*I hear there's a monkey sanctuary of some description though.
It's not the final arrival of Meze Mangals long promised bakery along with a farewell to the dreaded Lewisham Way container by any chance?
And who are all these other Tyrwhitts muscling in on my manor?
Ooh ooh, is it related to the mysterious goings-on at La Lanterna? Looks as though someone is moving in there.
Is it access to westside of the station?
There will be a public lynching if this is crap.
When Kate does a game of I Spy, everyone says what a delightful way to pass the time it is (indeed it is!). When I do a guessing game, I'm threatened with lynching! Charming. ;)
yes, parents like to keep father christmas a closely guarded secret
but many of us aren't children any more... and don't need a protective father
Is it a public toilet?
Your stubborn refusal to give anything else is not an endearing quality. Those cynical among us may argue it is to simply generate site hits rather than really give us some local information. If you are bound by confidentiality that is one thing but simple generics such as which side of Brockley this is going to affect is another. Surely this site exists in a climate of goodwill?
Is it to do with old Lanterna restuarant there were about 50 coffee makers outside the other day.
I'll defend you Nick.
The rest of us will lynch the lynching annoymous.
I don't suppose the something is a private sector gallows is it?
;o)
New petrol station coming to Brockley
Iwas hoping for full pedestrianisation of coulgate street - but if it is an independent - then it has to be a shop,bar or restaurant...
If Stones was still open,They could have manufactured the railings for the station
Hmm, I did happen to notice some builders at Brockley Station 'doing something' next to the coffee bar on the London Bridge Station. Perhaps it is expanding!!
Not that I want it too, I miss my waiting room!
ahem:
London Bridge Station = London Bridge platform.
Don't get your hopes up about that. I've already found out. It looked to me like they might be creating a doorway onto platform one (i.e. access to westside) but all they're doing is creating a prison like structure to put the coffee shop Matchbox in (presumably so drunk louts can't break in at night)
Also if you look at where they've put the new prison bars, and then look at where the new building is being built it appears that it all but puts to bed any idea about having a west side entrance to the station.
How about raising Lewisham College to the ground,And having a descent size Tesco's In Its place,With car park of course
Why would you want to do raze Lewisham College to the ground when there is a decent sized Tesco with carpark just down the hill behind Lewisham station?
House prices are up again this month.
Dukes Night Store is to open the prison shutters and let custom in. For the first time shoppers will see the dark side of the shelves.
I heard there was a new bar opening at Ecosium or is that old news?
Well done Moira. I think you've nailed it. I can't get too excited by this though. Those premises are cursed to produce bad businesses.
@Anon 16.11
We've only ever published stories about local businesses' plans once we've confirmed with them that they are happy for their plans to become public. That was true of Magi's decision to relocate and of The Talbot's new owners' plans and it is true in this case.
In the mean time, it's a harmless bit of fun to speculate about what it might be. That was the point of the quote and it is in keeping with the nature of this site.
By the same token, I have never made up a story, except on April Fool's Day. I hope you don't consider those to be an affront to readers also.
I can confirm that I don't find April fools day jokes as an affront to the reader.
A new bar opening where Ecosium was, is very old news indeed. A new bar opened, called itself Aquarium, traded for a while had a reader offer on the blog but then closed down.
Or as usual I am getting the wrong end of the stick?
Fishmonger please.
Nice try, young simian.
A dogging society for Telegraph Hill
Just to say to anon @ 15.33 that I thought "fishmunger" was quite funny, as mung jokes go (the bar isn't very high, I know).
Don't tell too soon, Nick, this is the most fun I've had in ages - except dreaming about the coming of the Bakerloo line, now that really would be something!
Hugh said...
Is it a black man's cock?
27 August 2009 14:38
I do find this blog useful for local infomation/news etc but Why is is EVERYTIME i log on i am subjected to this vile racist tone. What is wrong with some of the people on here. Would help if some others spoke out against this. Clean up "new people" of brockley - those of us who have lived here all our lives and dont care about property booms dont appreciate you coming round here and insulting people
quite, i pee'd myself earlier
Anon - in that particular case, it was a reference to an episode of the office, when David Brent tells an inappropriate joke about the Royal family playing a guessing game. So it wasn't a racist joke, but a reference to a parody of racist jokes. so it was allowed to remain.
Brockley nick - in that case my last comment is withdrawn
You credit Hugh with more intelligence than he's actually ever displayed here
Are we getting new water mains from Thames Water? I think Brockley Cross is the only part of south London not being dug up right now ....
Is the brothel on Geoffrey Road reopening!!!
Nick is, as they say in footballing circles, a legend.
is that what they say in footballing circles?
Please oh please a bust of Brockley Nick, I love that suggestion
If it is a bar, I hope it is an interesting one, something along the lines of that place under the arches in Peckham would be awesome, or even something new that we've never seen before - how exciting that would be.
I would also like to see Brockley Nicks bust.
Hey there sweet cheeks...
I definitely like to see a bar, something along the lines of Jam Circus. It's something that we are lacking, and would draw more young people to the area.
I've just read all of the posts and I can know reveal with absolute certainty that at least 5 people would like to see a fishmonger in Brockley.
Is it an independant monkey sanctuary (rather than a chain)?
Monkey sanctuary? Why was I not consulted?
yebbut, how many of those five would actually use said fishmonger, say at least once a week, to justify its existence?. I do wonder if most people just like the idea of a fishmonger/butcher/cheese-shop/whatever to engender in them a cosy, villagey feel; and if it's not located right outside their front door, then they wouldn't be aware of its existence.
Arrgh as people have pointed out again and again there IS a butcher/fishmonger here already. And a great one. Peter James on Ewhurst Road. Can we maybe get a ticker down the bottom of the page to remind people? Geez.
That's what I meant! Unless it's on their doorstep, or has an in-your-face shopfront, people don't really seem to be aware of what's already around, or make the effort to find out.
Aargh! That should have been anon of 19:30.
I was just wondering if perhaps a visiting butcher/fishmonger might be a viable business until I remembered even that's been tried before!
Does anybody remember the man in van (with his seafood straight from the 'gate) about ten years ago around Hilly Fields? I think he lasted 6 months.
James is a great butchers that sells some fish, mostly frozen. It's not a proper fish mongers. I use WH Beloved about once a week, as I do Sainsbury's. They both seem to be thriving. Brockley covers a decent sized area a GOOD fishmongers would have a chance I'd say.
There is a very good fishmongers down the road already in Nunhead - FC Soper.
Yes, FC Soper is fantastic.
The wine bar/bistro planned at the former Acquarium restaurant at Harefield Road.
I would make use of a fishmongers at least once a week...but that's only to feed 2 people - so not big money from this household....
Although a closer butcher shop would be nice - I'm afraid that my loyalty lies with Mr. Wellbeloved in Deptford.
I've grown up with the concept of trekking 'off to the market' to buy food, be it meat or fish. I find Crofton Park Ranger's comments 22.30 a bit hectoring.
Oracle - that was mentioned near the top of the thread
didn't think there were so many people desperate for fish in brockley. there was a guy doing the telegraph hill farmers market with fish he caught that morning. don't know if he's still doing it, haven't been down any of the farmers markets for a while
And that is surely what Nick is hinting at, which is why I also mentioned it.
I don't think people are that interested in fish as opposed to having a fishmongers in their locale.
all very bizarre, especially the call for no frozen fish. i thought all fish had to be frozen?
My point entirely, Acquisivity.
"Champagne tastes, beer pockets" as someone on here once said.
Nope Ross, you can buy fish that has been kept on ice - not actually frozen - in London. Fish suffers much more than meat for being frozen.
Definitely not a monkey sanctuary then?
LSD in the water supply?
There's already something in the water that induces rampant narcissism among residents of the Brockley ward anyway.
All this fishy chat has made me hungry. Are any chippies open today? I remember Sunday chippy opening was discussed at length a year ago, but I really can't be bothered to trawl through the blog (and things might have changed anyway).
And in a sad attempt to name a new sub-district, I live (Brockley) Mess Side, so the nearer the better.
"There's already something in the water that induces rampant narcissism among residents of the Brockley ward anyway."
which brings out the projections, and projective identification of other posters ;-)
A fishmongers would be the worst kind of business to open. FC Sopers is the King among fishmongers, drawing people from all over south east london. A new fishmongers would have to be exceptional to compete and I don't see that happening. Sopers has the established name and all others must bow to it's glory.
"Nope Ross, you can buy fish that has been kept on ice - not actually frozen - in London. Fish suffers much more than meat for being frozen."
to what extent though? because surely there is a time/date/distance traveled where by fish simply cannot be kept on ice and must be frozen? i tried to google it and couldn't find anything. would be interested to learn more about it though..
There is at least one exception though, if you want to fry calamari (aka squids) you want them frozen, fresh calamari doesn't fry well, comes out hard. And cost much less.
Don't you lot use Billingsate?
That FC Soper place looks rather good. Will check it out next week, the power of Brockley Central (just DON'T MENTION THE MEWS!)
Have I got mews for you.
Hey Max, Are you sure?
I'm not getting on you're back here but I fry un-frozen squid all the time and it's great. Without wanting to teach you to suck eggs are you frying it for too long? Thirty seconds flashed in a really hot pan and it's succulent and not rubbery at all.
Ok, there are two explanations here, you said you fried for only 30 seconds, which is legitimate with fresh squids and leaves the fish very tender, but I found it can also send you to the toilet.
Squids (and cuttlefish) can be cooked in a minute or in 10, the fish in fact at first softens up, then hardens up, then softens up again, that's when it's cooked for me.
I prefer to cook it for longer, it is easier to digest.
But I was only talking of deep fry, coated in flour, I do stir fry fresh squids myself, did some great one just a few days ago but deep fried notoriously work better from frozen.
Okay cool.
Cheers.
By the way when pan-frying from fresh I always pick up one or two pieces after only a minute cooking, they're indeed very tasty and very tender, only that my digestive system can't take a full course.
Can you tell us what it is yet?
Oh why are we waiting, why are we waiting oh why are we waiting..??
Ooh I got a snoop in the door of the Brockley Mess today. Looks very nice. All lime green and wood, very nice indeed.
Lady - sounds good, and did you see that Browns of Brockley have emptied the shelves, looks like it's getting closer to opening too...
Hugh said...
Is it a black man's cock?
27 August 2009 14:38
Anoymous said...
I do find this blog useful for local infomation/news etc but Why is is EVERYTIME i log on i am subjected to this vile racist tone. What is wrong with some of the people on here. Would help if some others spoke out against this. Clean up "new people" of brockley - those of us who have lived here all our lives and dont care about property booms dont appreciate you coming round here and insulting people
27 August 2009 21:41
I must say I do agree with anonymous. I find there is a wealth of information here, but I don't pop in as regularly as I would like to. There are some running jokes on this board that allude to certain groups of people in a nasty, snotty way. It really puts me off. I've lived in this area for many years. I'm a born Londoner. All shapes, sizes, colours, religions, walks I life... That's what I've grown up with and what I WANT. If you live around here you should make an effort to embrace the diversity and not be so judgmental.
*sigh* that last comment was sooo 1990's new labour...
*yawn*
couldn't agree more Cat Man. Much better before New Labour. Particularly liked the repressive, discriminatory anti-gay legislation. Let's hope the next lot bring it back.
I'll try Sopers. I used to get fish once a week from Bromley Market (and was also introduced to whelks and winkles - british seafood rather than this Mediterranean muck) but the stall stopped going there and once a month in the Farmers Market is not often enough.
On the winkles - a fascinating bit of South East London/Kent social history... After I commented on buying them, two of the older women in our office shared memories of part of childhood being picking out winkles for your Nan, obviously tricky for the elderly with poor close vision and arthritic hands to do the task for themselves. And the little girls also used to take the round pieces of ceratin (?) that were still slightly tacky and stick them on as "beauty patches" - this 200 years after patches ceased to be fashionable.
Which Farmers Market has a fish stall Tamsin? - certainly not Hilly Fields or at least when I have been there.
I can heartily recommend Sopers and also The new Fishmonger in Greenwich near the cheese shop - don't know the name - and the Codfather's in Deptford.
The latter should have made it ot the silly shop names thread
Tamsin means the Telegraph Hill one.
FC Soper is pretty good, but not quite as wonderful as some of the comments suggest. You have to pick and choose to get the fresh stuff. That's the case anywhere, but more so there than with the best fishmongers.
I thought the Hilly Fields and Telegraph Hill Farmers Market people were by and large the same. Mark you, the fish stall does not come every time to Telegraph Hill - it is a long journey from Essex and only worth while if they have caught enough. Understandable but inconvenient if you were looking forward to a fish pie for supper.
If people have wheels or a bus pass and time the Bromley market stallholders have set up semi-permanently in Eltham now - Plassey Place (?).
Nick - any more tantalizing morsels you can give us about this yet?
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