Jamaica Raffle

Our wife organised some fund-raising competitions for Jamaican children in need while she stayed at a swanky resort out there. Raffles? No, Goldeneye.

Venice, organiser of the Jamaica Jumble updates us:

Despite the rain we still manage to raise enough money and quality children's books to send two barrels to Jamaica.

Please find below all the info for the Jamaica Jumble raffle to be drawn on Saturday 3rd September at SHAWNS Food & Wine (formerly LV Food and Wine, the shop next to Tesco) 209 Lewisham Way, St Johns SE4 1UY.

SHAWNS have very kindly offered to sell the tickets at their shop. Confusingly, the current owners have just taken over the business and the sign still says 'LV Food and Wine' until next Wednesday 31st August, when they will be putting up their new sign!


A #meateasy meal for 2 with all the trimmings at The Rye Hotel, Rye Lane, Peckham, SE15 3NX

£20 gift vouchers for Arch Materials - Fine Art and Craft Supplies
17 Resolution way, Deptford SE8 4NT

A bottle of Captain Morgan Dark Rum
Shawns Food and Wine 209 Lewisham Way, St Johns SE4 1UY

Coffee and cake for 2 at The Waiting Room, 142 Deptford High Street, Deptford SE8 3PQ

US$150 to spend in their Driftwood Spa
2 t-shirts from Jakes, Treasure Beach, Jamaica

Tickets cost £0.25p or £1 for five.


Wannabe starting something said...

no jokes this time? i suppose all the comedians are in Edinburgh. In the Hyatt?

Possibly, weather reports say there are mild conditions up there.

Joke ruiner said...

You know how jokes are ruined when you have to explain them...

Sorry - dont get it.

dor said...

The standard has gone down,

I blame the opener "Our wife organised some fund-raising competitions for Jamaican children in need while she stayed at a swanky resort out there. Raffles? No, Goldeneye."

It's the joke equivalent of one of those Magic Eye pictures...searching for meaning...processing...Fail!

Brockley Nick said...

Raffles is a swanky resort in Jamaica. So is Goldeneye. Hence, the joke is the confusion between organising raffles and staying at raffles.

Hilarious, no?!

Brockley Nick said...

As for the Hyatt gag... not quite sure. In the high eighties (as in temperature)?

The Dark Night said...

Yeah but isn't Raffles universally known as a Singapore thing, thus causing more confusion. And the second flaw is that Goldeneye is surely better known as a the movie nowadays than Fleming's home or resort.

face it the whole strand it toxic, delete and start again...

Brockley Nick said...

@The Dark Knight - I will never dumb a joke down to pander to the lowest common denominator! Never! If people don't know that there is a Raffles in Jamaica and that Goldeneye was Fleming's home, now an exclusive resort, well that's their problem - hopefully, they've now learned something as well as enjoying an amazing joke. All for free! ;)

The Dark Night said...

yeah but I am the lowest common denominator.

THNick said...

£0.25p. GRRRR. 25p or £0.25

And shurely the punchline to joke should be "Raffles? No, it was her choice"

Brockley Nick said...

@The Dark Knight - clearly.

@THNick - that joke doesn't make sense? And sorry you don't like the addition of p at the end.

Didn't start anything. said...

I dead embarrassed... but Hyatt's meant to be pronounced in a Anne Hathaway doing a Yorkshire accent mangled style, so to be 'heat'.

Brockley Nick said...



TM said...

I know there is a Raffles in Sangapore because I have had a drink in there.

Not sure about one in Jamaica.

No doubt Nick can give us their web address................or not

I Broccoli Brockley said...

I think the person who organised the jumble sale has done a great job and deserves a holiday. Venice? Yes - it'd be lovely this time of year.

TM said...

I will learn to spell Singapore promise

Still trying to start something said...

Yes I agree. I heard she's been given a treat and that she's packing her cases to to stay at very plus Jamaican hotel. In Sandals? No she prefers Crocs.

I Broccoli Brockley said...

Crocs? She'd be better off going to Jamaica after purchasing some more sturdy footware. In boots? No they won't sell them, that's a chemist.

That woman again said...

She's now going to Florida after buying those new shoes?
Crocs? Yes but she is staying out of the water.

She's also getting a pair of very posh ones. Jimmy Choo's?
No, her own.

Anonymous said...

Too many Ryes : the Rye is on Peckham Rye not Rye Lane

I Broccoli Brockley said...

Not a pun: I went into LV / Shawn's just now to try and buy a raffle ticket but the lady serving there didn't know anything about it. Nick - can you let the organisers know? Ta!

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