Pete: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.
- O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Brockley Nick here:
In the past, I have promised to be non-partisan about the local elections. However, I am afraid that I am going to have to retract that promise.
I have decided to stand for the Lewisham Mayoral election as an independent candidate, on behalf of the Brockley Central party.
It's not a decision I have taken lightly and it is clearly not an election I expect to win. Brockley Central might be able to fill a pub from time-to-time, but is unlikely to attract much of a borough-wide following. In fact, I will be pleased to avoid being seen as a joke candidate.
However, it is my hope that, if I can secure enough of your votes, then Brockley's concerns will have to be taken seriously by the next Mayor. While I respect many of the other candidates, when it comes to SE4's real problems, I believe they remain aloof.
My manifesto is a simple seven-point plan:
- Cleaner streets - increased investment in sanitation, voluntary schemes for local businesses to cut plastic bags and packaging
- Better pavements - removing clutter and unnecessary street furniture and railings
- Draconian treatment of selfish parking - more traffic wardens, more car-free areas in our main streets
- Compulsory purchase orders against car dealerships in Brockley's main centres - allowing them to be redeveloped as valuable shops, such as delis and galleries
- Increased funding and powers for volunteer groups, such as Brockley Cross Action Group - allowing them to appoint their own contractors for the successful delivery of local projects
- Relaxation of planning rules in Brockley's mews - unleashing private investment and enterprise on these neglected spaces
- Cancelling Lewisham News and all other forms of written communication from the Council - all communication will be delivered digitally, to reduce costs
Nominations close on April 8th. I will begin campaigning properly at that point.
I hope I can count on your support on May 8th.
Thank you for listening.