The Rover Vitesse Fastback driver's guide to Brockley

A BC reader has created a guide to eating and shopping in Brockley that focuses on some of the local businesses less-often mentioned on the site. It's a route which he believes represents "honest" Brockley. Here's his map:

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He's accidentally mentioned a few businesses that are always being discussed and celebrated on Brockley Central, like Fishy Business, The Wickham Arms, Top Chef and the Brockley Barge, but he's probably got a day job and did this in his spare time, so we'll make allowances.

More worryingly, Tesco is mentioned, so he obviously secretly works for them. There are no jerk establishments, so he's clearly racist. It only covers the Conservation Area, so he's a massive snob. The Barge and The Wickham are family-friendly, so we've no idea what he's playing at there? And the effete ponce has not included any newsagents on the list. The Google map he's created includes directions for both walking and public transport, indicating that he's a vegan and his wee smells funny. He probably moved here fewer than 20 years ago - most likely from one of the home counties - so his opinions and this map are therefore invalid.

Still, it's an interesting project, worthy of supporting, so please help him fill it in by posting your suggestions below.


Ian on the Hill said...

Where's all the Morley's fried rat shops?

BrockleyKate said...

Bloke's guide? Does it include the brothels on Lewisham Way?

Brockley Nick said...

@BK - I have now changed the headline, thus ruining your joke, sorry

Anonymous said...

I see he includes the Chinese in Ladywell which sells plenty of dishes containing mung beans. The leftie hippy wanker.

Westsider said...

Must be nice not to be responsible for documenting what is good in Brockley, Nick. Enjoy the time off ;)

HeckMcBuff said...

How perplexing.

Fattyfattybumbum said...

If this if not a joke I feel sorry for whoever made this.

Gogis and Costcutter have the worlds crappest selection of stock not to mention the worlds rudest staff and he has included Tesco?! Please.

TM said...

Our friend does venture beyond the Conservation Area to the east unless the boundaries have radically changed since I last looked.

Having gone to the lengths of making it to Loampit Vale I would have thought the Rising Sun and Everest Curry King both deserve a mention. The food at the Talbot is fairly affordable if you go in on Weekday lunchtimes and Monday evenings.

Oh and Tesco sells newspapers I think you will find.

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