The Hards and the Hard Mores

Homer: Now, I'm not one to make trouble, but it seems to me that everyone who got to keep the old, or *classic* 636 area code lives on the *rich* side of town! 
Burns: Dooh, poppycock! 
Socialite: Well, I never! [the man sitting next to her is horrified, and his monocle falls into his drinking glass] 
Homer: And, as usual, we Joe Twelve-Packs get the royal screw job. Well, I've had it! You rich snobs aren't pushing us around any more! 
- The Simpsons, A Tale of Two Springfields

In all other ways harmoniously homogeneous, Brockley life is bitterly divided by its water.

While the those of you in the south of Brockley (or "Lewisham South" according to Thames Water) enjoy relatively sane levels of hardness in their water, those of us in "Lewisham North" have hardness levels of 318.5 mgl CaCO3 (ppm). Yes - you read that right. 318.5mgl CaCO3 (ppm)! That is one of the highest levels in London, hard water capital of the UK.

BC has grown up all its life in hard water areas. Ordinarily we are contemptuous of soft water, with its funny taste and its scumless shampooing. But Jeebus, "Lewisham North" has water so hard it would break you as soon as look at you. It will calcify your toilet bowl in hours and turn your kettle to chalk dust. We can't help but feel a little resentful of Lewisham South.